image via v3.co.uk

NORTH RYDE, NSW  19-year-old Tanya Shelvy, a media student at Macquarie University, browsed popular blogging service Tumblr “literally the entire fucking time” during a lecture on Social Semiotics according to classmate Jerry Zhu, 20. “I was sitting behind her and she was on her stupid fucking Mac browsing .GIFS of FRIENDS and half naked men, I couldn’t concentrate, it was horrible” said Jerry, whilst browsing Reddit on his $4000 Alienware gaming laptop. Jerry became especially irate when Tanya audibly chuckled at a “meme from like 2008.” Jerry posted an account of the events on an online forum, encouraging his internet friends to ‘diss this pleb.’ “My clan mates were definitely amused,” said Jerry, “we’re probably going to have another laugh about it over Call of Duty tonight.” At the end of the lecture Jerry, realising he was attracted to Tanya, considered telling her that he liked her glasses before remembering she was probably just another “friendzoner.”